Head to Head
by ghostlyandcoastly
Summary: Rose Weasley should have had a sterling seventh year. She had worked hard to get to this point. She pushed herself to perfection! Unfortunately, Scorpius Malfoy was always there to push her off, that damn badge that adorned his robes served as her constant reminder. SEMI HIATUS
1. Reunited and It Doesn't Feel So Good

The day that I started noticing boys, I found my eyes drawn to my cousin's best friend. Before that, I had my nose in a book and my thoughts in my own world. I was never bothered by Scorpius Malfoy. But from that day on, I was enamored. He was my first crush admittedly but he didn't seem to notice me either. He was too caught up in quidditch and being generally nervous around the whole of the Weasley clan. I got over my crush. There were other boys. Boys that did not have Scorpius Malfoy's shoulders or eyes that were soft and grey. While I found other boys to fancy- nice boys, boys that noticed me, boys that made me giggle, boys that never went too far- I could not deny that my teenage hormones drove me absolutely mad when it came to Scorpius Malfoy and my vivid fantasies about him pushing me up against a wall.

Eventually Scorpius did notice that I seemed to melt when he entered the room. It was in fourth year. He was out of his awkward tween phase. He worked out due to being on the Quidditch team. He became aware of the effect he had on girls and possibly blew it up in his head. Not my reaction though. That was none of his imagination. Even Albus The Oblivious saw it. At first, it made Malfoy uncomfortable. Unfortunately for me, as his ego grew, Malfoy found more humor in the situation.

Fifth year came and I found out that Scorpius was messing with me. I was terribly embarrassed. However, I had my father's temper and mother's determination. I decided I hated Malfoy. And that's when our rivalry ignited.

I had managed to avoid him all summer. I went away to a Young Witch and Wizard Leadership program put on by the ministry. It was an incredibly prestigious program. Scorpius had not been accepted- a fact I could not wait to rub in his face when we went back to Hogwarts.

I wiggled in my seat as I thought about it. Right now I was returning home. It was the final week of summer and while I was grateful to be rid of Malfoy during the summer, I had missed my family terribly.

"Posie! Posie!" I heard a small voice from above the hustle and bustle of the train station. I turned around. Quite a few of the Weasley clan were there waiting to welcome me back. My eyes filled with tears. Teddy and Victoire's two year old, Addie, was attempting to wiggle out of her father's arms to get to me. Then I felt a set of arms envelop me. I breathed in deep. He smelled like soap and lemon. Miles Diggle was my boyfriend. I felt my stomach drop when I realized I had essentially forgotten about him. I plastered on a smile despite the annoyance of him hindering my going to snuggle up with Addie and ruffle my little brother's hair.

I heard the unmistakable cough of Ron Weasley. I felt Miles freeze up and then let go of me. I might have felt bad for him, as he was terrified of Ron Weasley, if I didn't immediately start crying and practically tackle my father. I had always been a daddy's girl.

"Hey there, stranger. I've missed you too." Ron said laughing. Hermione smiled down at her daughter and love embracing. I felt my little brother pinch my side.

"Hugo! You mo- fuck it, get over here." I exclaimed. I would have been apologetic about my language if I wasn't so overcome with emotions. I heard my mother huff and I reached out to pull both Hugo and my mother in a hug. Hermione returned the affection with full force while Hugo tried to act like he was just too cool for the hug.

Then I got to hold Addie and say hello to Teddy and Vic. Roxy and I giggled and did a little dance to reunite officially. Once all the hugs were done for then, we piled into a car. Miles sat quietly in the back, squished up to Fred and Louis while I was in the second row with Roxy and Vic and Addie. My elation died down a bit whenever I would look behind me. He was so freaking patient. He was too good for me.

Before long we were back at the Burrow and I had many more reunions with family members to distract myself with. The biggest and most unfortunate distraction came in the form of one Scorpius Malfoy.

I was chatting with Aunt Audrey about the program when I realized that this was not going to be as pleasant as I thought. I probably would have done almost anything to get out of a conversation about the importance of making connections with Aunt Audrey. I would have given my wand arm up gladly. I would not have been willing to put up with the heat I felt against my back as he passed too close. Aunt Audrey did not realize anything had changed but I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me.

"You see, I think you're on the right track. But it is a difficult task. I'd be glad to show you the ropes a bit although I do think that independence is imp-" Aunt Audrey continued but I only heard one thing.

"Welcome back Weaselbrat." He whispered right into my ear as he waltzed passed. I braced myself against the counter. Dammit! I turned to see him look back, smirking. He was clearly glad he got his target.

"Son of a bitch." I said rather rudely.

"Young lady!" Aunt Audrey looked quite affronted. I apologized as quickly as I could and shot off in his direction. I found him pouring himself a freaking Firewhisky.

"Why the hell are you here!?" I yelled at him. I was due one more Malfoy free week. It made sense now why the Potters hadn't been at the station. Albus usually would have been beaming at me knowingly from behind everyone as I said my hello's. Speaking of the bastard, where was he? Too scared to show his face probably. I could not believe he'd brought Malfoy along to my welcome home party. I knew I was making a scene. I did not care that those in the vicinity rolled their eyes and had turned to witness yet another of our spats.

"I came to welcome the rosiest Weasley back of course." Malfoy said mockingly, gesturing with his drink at me. I knew he was referring to my blush. Not blush as much as splotchy redness that seemed to popup when there was a lot of pollen or even a little bit of Malfoy.

"Miss me all that much? How sweet." Aaaand nope. Should not have said that. I knew I shouldn't have. I opened myself up. I was definitely going to need to set my head straight. I couldn't very well do that when he was sauntering up so close to me.

"So much, cheeks. I missed your soul. Sucking the fun out of everyone. All summer long! Your friends even got to have a bit of time to do what they liked." He made a mocking surprised face. He was too close. His words were insulting enough if I wasn't so invested in how his lips moved as he said them. Miles. Miles. Miles has nice lips too. I chanted to myself. Yeah, ok, nice lips. Not ravish me lips. My brain fought back against me.

"Well aren't you Mr. Party In Chief! You never take anything seriously. That's a great time! For everyone. Too bad the commission didn't seem to be able to take you seriously." I shot back. I knew I was yelling in comparison to his quiet barrage. I could hear people shuffling in to see what the fuss was.

"McGonagall seemed to take me seriously enough." He said simply. What did that even mean?

"What are you talking about?" Looking back, I was slow to catch on. I felt a warm hand against my back. Miles. I could tell by how gentle he was being.

"Hey Rosie Mosie. Let's take a walk." He offered. At first I just thought he was being oblivious to the situation. The nervousness on his face told me even he knew something I didn't. In fact, that expression was echoed in everyone else's in the room. "What the hell are you all not telling me?" I whispered at Miles viciously. I heard Malfoy snort.

"Is something fucking funny you imbecile!?" I yelled at him.

"I, can you stop? I don't think you need this right now." Miles practically begged.

"Miles please do not tell me what to do!" I knew I was taking my anger and guilt out on him. My stomach sank when I saw his hurt expression. He nodded and looked me in the eyes.

"Come find me when you're ready if you'd like." Miles said. He dipped his head. Embarrassed. My family parted to allow him to leave. I took a step to go after him.

"Bloody hell. What'd you do to that poor boy?" Scorpius remarked. I whipped around to him. I was so angry I didn't think. I got way too close. I had to look up in order to really see his smirking face. I could smell him. His eyes bore down on me.

"I didn't do anything to him!" I yelled at him. I was slightly proud at maintaining my anger despite wanting to melt into him.

"Now, now Rose. You're in front of your family. They don't need to know about you and Diggs sex life." He whispered. I knew no one else could hear. I couldn't help what I did next. Malfoy's go to insult was my prudishness. His hot breath against my ear, his lips being too close. I had to do it or else I may have actually done something I regretted. I slapped him. I wanted to make him stumble back. He was hardly affected physically which made me even angrier. I went to punch him this time. He grabbed my wrist before I could make contact. He held it behind my back.

"Fuck you." I hissed as I tried to get out of his grasp. Mistake. In doing this, I rubbed up against him. He stared dead into my eyes and I saw his smirk come back as he saw what it did to me.

"Hey!" Fred. Fuck. Suddenly I was being dragged off Malfoy and out of the room. Malfoy smiled and waved innocently. Fred didn't let go of me until were outside on the side of The Burrow.

"He is a fucking dick!" I yelled at Fred and he stared at me unimpressed. And then I was ranting. I paced back and forth, saying every mean thing I could about Malfoy. Fred at some point sat down and was taking something out of his pocket.

"You know you're an ass right?" Fred told me. He lit something looked remarkably similar a muggle cigarette but not quite as neat.

"Excuse me? I am!? And what the hell is that?" I squealed. I knew I was being a child. But Malfoy wound me up.

"Something you, Rose, desperately need." Fred answered. I sighed and sat next to Fred.

"You get this… and trust me you want this… when you tell me what's really going on." Dammit, why did Fred have to know me so well? Fred was a year older than me. While Roxy and I were practically the same in the all the ways people typically think, Fred and I have similar souls. It's corny and doesn't make a lot of surface sense. Fred is a badass. Sure, he was smart but not really great in class. He left in the middle of the year last year. He was adventurous and artistic and he was not built for the confines of NEWT exams and the library. I admired him.

"I am a terrible person." I conceited. It had been confirmed for me this summer. I was not nearly as committed to anything or anyone as I seemed. Fred squeezed my hand and passed me the mysterious smoking item.

"Inhale deeply. You might cough when you exhale." He instructed me. I put it between my lips, breathed in, and before I even meant to breathe out, I was in a coughing fit.

"What is that?" I said once I recovered enough.

"Weed. It's a muggle thing. A little bit of magic of their own." Fred replied.

"Did… I'm sorry, did I just fucking do drugs?" I hissed at Fred. He smiled knowingly. "Fuck it, give it back." I said, relaxing against the wall.

"Back to my lovely cousin being an ass…" Fred urged me to continue.

"Everyone… thinks…" I stopped and took another breath in of the so called weed. "No one knows me and I should be glad because they'd hate me." I admitted. Tears sprung to my eyes but my fingers began to tingle. Fred put his arm around me.

"You put too much pressure on yourself. You're going to give yourself a heart attack." Fred replied. I sighed.

"Fred, I-" I closed my eyes cutting myself off. I usually told Fred everything. But this was one thing he shouldn't have to deal with.

"I...?" Fred sounded concerned. I took another inhale of Fred's weed. He took it away from me. "Is this about Malfoy? Jesus, Rose. Listen, let's be honest. You don't actually care about being head girl. I know most people don't know that. But I do. Just because you and Malfoy have a dumb competition doesn't mean he's any better than you." It took me a minute to process what he meant. Oh. Oh, god.

"Um. So Malfoy is Head Boy." I said. And there it was. My death sentence for my final year at Hogwarts. He'd fucking won.

"Wait, that's not what you hit him for?" Fred questioned. I shook my head. And then cried.

It took me longer than it should have to woman up and dry my tears. Once I convinced Fred I was okay, I made him and I go our separate ways. My head was feeling floaty. I knew I had some apologies to make. I went with the easier one first. I apologized to Aunt Audrey. My words did not come as smooth as I would have liked. My legs seemed oddly disconnected from the rest of me. Time to make the harder apology. Miles. I needed a drink first. I snuck a glass of vodka and pumpkin juice. I downed it too quickly. Liquid courage and what not.

I found Miles in a nearly empty room. He was watching over Addie as I took a nap. The only other people here was Uncle Charlie and his boyfriend simply sitting on the other side of the room, nibbling on snacks and looking in love. Miles was so good. I wiId I could be like Uncle Charlie and Hector with Miles. Maybe one day. I'd have to keep some lies going a bit longer than I wanted to.

"Hi there." I said sitting down next to him with as much grace as a toddler's first steps. He looked at me with sad eyes.

"Rosie, I- I didn't mean to tell you what to do. Especially in front of Malfoy. I just didn't want him to hurt you." DAMMIT! Was he apologizing to me? This has to be a cruel joke.

"Please, Miles. Do not apologi- sorry I um can't seem to say it. Apollo- guys. Huh. Weird." And there goes my verbal skills. Uh oh. It was kind of funny. I was glad Miles seemed to be laughing.

"It's okay, love. I forgive you. How could I hold a grudge for someone as pretty as you?" He kissed me lightly. I tried to smile as much as I could but the corners of my mouth felt weighed down. My head was starting to swim. I couldn't be sure if it was from guilt or from what Fred informed me was called a joint. I noticed Miles' Firwhisky and soda. I asked for a sip. I may have drank half of it. Miles looked at me with an odd look.

"I, um, not feeling good. Gotta go lie down." I made an excuse and left the room as fast as my unsure feet could take me. I needed to sneak upstairs. I saw Malfoy shaking hands with Neville which stirred up more emotions. I saw a Firewhisky sitting alone. It wasn't much left but I downed it. I went to take a step to find Albus and yell at him for befriending such an arrogant successful beautiful git. That step was not so successful and I had to lean against the wall. Well, Albus' talking to would have to wait. I needed to not be seen in this state. I tried to climb the stairs as slowly as I could to avoid nausea.

I closed my eyes to hold it down. And took another step. Wait, was that a step backwards?

"Rose." I heard before I hit the ground. Wait that's too soft. And too blonde.

"Oh hello there Mr. Head Buy." I poked him on the nose. He looked at me with amusement and a twinge of worry. He set me upright again. And then gravity made me less upright. His strong arms grabbed me again.

"Jesus fucking christ. Are you stoned?" He whispered.

"That's a crime now. And a very violen thing against woman." I told him. Ha, who looked stupid now?

"Not stoning, you nitwit. Stoned. Marijuana. Weed?" Malfoy questioned.

"Oooooooo sh. Don't tell that." I told him and puId my finger against his mouth.

"Okay then." Malfoy sighed and suddenly I was off the ground.

"Hey! I did not say this was good. Where are you taking me? You, you trolldoll. Pretty troll." I insulted him. I think. He chuckled.

"To your room. Did you drink too? You sound fucking gone." Malfoy said placing me on my temporary bed. I slumped over. Malfoy seemed to galk at something and then stare at the headboard.

"Yeah. I did, arseface." I told him vehemently.

"Listen, for one, you just said I was pretty. Two, I realize that you are quite gone at the moment but pull yourself together enough to put your tits back in your dress." Malfoy said impatiently.

"Oops." I shuffled around a bit but I wasn't achieving anything. Malfoy went into my bag and pulled out a shirt.

"Just, just put this on over." He handed it to me. "I have never seen someone so incapable of handling alcohol and weed." He sounded irritated.

"HEY! You don't get to be mad. You're why this happened." I accused him. He rolled his eyes.

"Maybe this exact reaction is why I am and you're not." He sneered. He sat back on the bed once I had the shirt on.

"That's mean. You are a mean person." I pouted.

"Well, that's why we work so well, Weasley." Malfoy rubbed his face a little. "Rose, can I trust you to not choke on your own tongue for like five minutes while I get Albus?"

"YES! I WILL come with you. I've been meaning to talk to him." I tried to get up Malfoy stopped me. I pouted again.

"I am bringing him here. If you tried to get out of this bed, you'd vomit all over my clothes. So just stay here okay?" Scorpius was being bossy. My mind went to other places where Scorpius was being bossy. Even in this state, I knew to be embarrassed and I rolled over to hide my face. I heard Malfoy leave. It felt like hours until anyone came back. I felt someone turning me over.

"Albie. I am very upset with you." I told him. "You- you know how much I suck? You suck four times that for making nice with Scorp Morp Forp." I told him, feeling very nauseous. Albus looked very worried.

"Rosie, you don't suck. You're great." Albus tried to soothe me. I was starting to get worked up again.

"I dooo. That's why I am no head girl. Miles is so perfect-" I reached for Al's face. This felt necessary to make him understand!

"Alright, I don't think I need to stay here to listen to some drunk girl gush about my boyfriend." Malfoy said curtly.

"Scor, you know Rose's not some drunk girl. But thanks for coming to get me. You're the best." My eyes were closed now but I felt Albus leave the bed. " I think she's asleep anyways. I've got her from here...Hey, if Rose isn't Head Girl, do you know who is?" Albus asked.

"Nope. Could be Mindy Byer?" Scorpius replied. "I'm hopin' for Carissa Sinclair. Wouldn't mind sharing a room." Albus laughed at that.

Mindy Byer was smart but I knew I could do a better job. I didn't want to hear this. I willed myself to sleep. Fuck Malfoy and Carissa Sinclair and Malfoy's strong arms that I definitely would not dream about.


	2. To Hogwarts

***AN** thanks for reading ch 1 hope you enjoy this one too! I do think next chapter is where we'll really get to the story let me know your thoughts I'd love to hear them *

Today was the last day before Hugo and I departed for Hogwarts. As such, it was a small family day. Normally, I loved these last moments before school. However, I knew this day would be strangled by a certain tension.

When my parents found me the morning after the party, undeniably hungover, they were not the happiest. Additionally, word of Malfoy and I's spat had gotten around and my mother was disappointed in my lack of maturity, as she put it. But through all that, I felt hideously sad. I tried to hide it. I spent the last few days with Roxy or locked in my room, trying to read. I knew that it would be difficult to keep my mood underwraps a whole day from the people I loved most. And when it came time to go downstairs and put on my happy act, I realized I simply did not have the energy.

At half past ten, my mom came in. She looked confused. Normally I was the first one up. I looked down, feeling ashamed and I didn't know quite why.

"Rose, what are you doing? We're waiting for you for breakfast." My mom huffed. I bit my lip. Not even pancakes could fill the emptiness I felt right now.

"I am not really hungry. I think I should stay up here." I said slowly.

"Rose Weasley, you are being ridiculous. You are always hungry, even if you aren't , I'd think you could come down and spend some time with your family." My mother was starting to raise her voice. Shit.

"I want to spend time with you guys…" I trailed off. My mother looked at expectantly with little patience. "Mom, I just need to be alone. Besides, you'll have a much better morning without me."

"What in the world is in your head? We've had plenty of mornings without you this summer young lady. You should get your priorities straight before starting your last year. I would assume that the desire to get a few more minutes of sleep might be less important than seeing your father and I. Honestly, you've been cooped up here since you've been back and I am over it! Rose, I am over it!" My mother's rant sparked tears in my eyes. I had to turn the other way. "Oh, yes, continue avoiding me!"

"Can you.. Just.. Dad, please." I choked.

"Rose, dear, I… I'm sorry I yelled. What is going on?" My mother tried to soften her voice when she heard the strain in my voice as she sat on my bed. I knew she could not understand. My mother was perfect. She was intelligent. She was generous. She was gorgeous. And she had every right to ride her moral high horse around. I failed so hard at emulating her. This brought on a new wave of holding down sobs.

"Hey, what in Merlin's name is going on?" I heard my dad say abruptly. I could imagine the look my mother shot him for his obliviousness. Hugo shuffled to the side of the bed where I could see him. Oh, just great the whole family is here to witness my breakdown!

"Rosie… Are you crying?" Hugo asked, just as insensitive as our dad.

"Hugo…" Mom started but I felt something shift as my dad sat down on the bed.

"Hey, Ro. You wanna look at your dear old dad?" My dad said quietly while placing a hand on my shoulder. I rolled over to face him. "Hey, there. Who's arse do I wanna kick? Did Diggle..?" I shook my head vehemently. Of course, Miles did not do anything. He never does anything!

"Rose, just tell us what's going on and we can help." My mother being ever so practical.

"I really can't do that, mom." I replied, trying to convey my apologies for being a dramatic wuss.

"Okay, dear. We can always warm up your breakfast. Hugo, why don't we go eat and let your dad talk to Rose?" Hugo looked reluctant to leave but a hard stare from mom got him going.

My dad settled himself beside me. I curled into his side. Maybe an almost seventeen year old shouldn't need to snuggle with her father but Merlin, I was already being a child so why not go all in?

"Soooo, Malfoy?" My father suggested. I sat up, ready to explain all the reasons he was the worst but I sank back when I realized that Malfoy was just a third of my feelings right now.

"Kind of? Don't get me wrong, I'm not thrilled he's Head freaking Boy. But it was him or Jackson Mclaggen who is an arseface as well. Not more than Malfoy." I asserted.

"Of course not. Who could ever be bestowed with such a low honor by Rose Weasley?" My father chuckled. Most of the time he found Malfoy and I's feud funny.

"But he, dad, he won? I'm not Head Girl. I worked so hard and it's for nothing." I told him. I felt him sigh next to me.

"Sometimes I think it's my fault. I pit you against him that first day… But Rose as much as I firmly believe you can and have and will beat Malfoy in every way that matters… You have to stop putting so much of your worth into what he thinks." My dad said softly. I sat up, looking at him with an accusation in my eyes.

"I do _not_ care what Scorpius Malfoy thinks about me!" I asserted. "I just don't think he deserves to be better than me and I do think he deserves to know it!"

"Rose, sweetheart, I agree. But you put way too much energy into this."

"Dad, it's not him though. Like I wasn't good enough. All that energy for six years for nothing!" I huffed.

"It's not for nothing. Don't be absurd. And hey, maybe there's a silver lining. Maybe now you can give yourself a little bit of a break. Don't focus on being perfect for anyone else. Especially not Malfoy, not even McGonagall." My dad told me firmly.

"What about mom?" I asked after a moment of consideration.

"Honey, your mother couldn't care less about a title. She loves you. You are diligent and smart, just like her. She's sees herself in you, that's why she's hard on you. Your mother never learned how to go easy on herself. I love her to the ends of the earth, you know that. And I will try everyday to lessen the burden she puts on hers-"

"Dad, I don't need to hear your wedding renewal vows!" I said but I couldn't help smiling. He rolled his eyes. As sentimental as he was, he was not comfortable admitting it.

"What I'm trying to say is you're young and you have time to learn how to let yourself be. Rose, we are always going to be your biggest cheerleaders. Besides! Now you have time for quidditch!" Dad suggested cheerily.

"You are literally the worst." I could barely stay atop a broom. I was feeling a bit better. There was still a third of my issues that there was no way I could bare to tell dad.

King's Cross was just as loud and crowded and exciting as it had been every year. I loved this flurry of excitement. I watched Hugo jot over to Lorcan Scamander, his best mate. The two were an odd pairing I had to admit. Hugo was just as brash as I was and he loved quidditch with the enthusiasm of most Weasleys. He was even fervent about muggle sports. Lorcan was a quiet boy. He always seemed to have some kind of pet with him- muggle or magical. Yet the two were attached at the hip and seemed to be perfectly in sync. If Lorcan hadn't dated Eloise Patil for all of last year (a surprise to everyone), Rose might have thought they were together.

Albus approached me sheepishly. I had not spoken with him since the party. Obviously he was under the impression I had been avoiding him out of irritation rather than embarrassment.

"Hey, are we still sitting together?" Albus asked. I rolled my eyes. We always sat together. Well, for the first half of the ride and then I usually stalk off because Malfoy had gotten under my skin too much.

"Of course, don't be ridiculous." I smiled at him.

"Yes, Al, don't be ridiculous. She would never miss out on the chance to leer at me for a few hours. It is the most action she'll get all year." Malfoy sneered from behind me. Albus made a face in disgust and annoyance. But I did see a hint of amusement in his eyes. _Damn you Albus Severus._

"You're an insufferable person and I have decided to no longer indulge you in your immature prickish ways." I informed him. I was determined to look him in the eyes and not the lips.

I had decided that if Malfoy was head boy he ought to be a little more well behaved. Obviously, I could not control what he did but I could lessen my hostile interactions with him which maybe could keep us out of detention and make him be a little bit more nof the role model he should be. This just meant I had to keep my emotions shut down around him. I was stronger than bloody Malfoy took me for.

"Oh, Scarlet. I assure you my ways with my prick is in no way immature." Malfoy challenged me with a smirk. Nope. Would not get a rise out of me one bit.

"So Albus, I'll see you in there." I nodded and turned away. My calm response was likely contradicted by how I immediately tensed and felt my face heat up. He was such a dick. I needed to control my Anger Asthma if I hoped to push a sense of dignity upon Malfoy. I needed to regain my breath out of Malfoy's eyeline. My retreat was blocked by Miles.

"Rosie!" He hugged me tightly. Miles looked around a second and seeing no sight of my father, kissed me. It wasn't a fun kiss. Or an impassioned one. It was the kiss you give your crush when you're young and you just admitted your feelings to each other.

"Miles." I smiled back at him. He grabbed my hand and we walked over to his family. I had to admit I loved his father. He was a bit of an older man but he was just as spry as I imagined him in his twenties. And just as absurd as Aunt Luna.

"Hi, Mr Diggle." I beamed at him.

"Rose Weasley!" He engulfed me in a hug. "Are you looking forward to heading back to school!? Can you believe it is this boy's last year!" He was so enthusiastic it would have been easy to miss the sad look in Mrs. Diggle's eyes.

"Hi Mrs. Diggle, how are you?" I asked politely after agreeing with Mr Diggle. Mrs. Diggle was a timid awkward woman yet I was intimidated by her. She loved her son with a ferocity even Grandma Weasley would raise an eyebrow at. The encounter was as awkward as promised with the Diggles. It was cut short by a certain low voice.

"Excuse me, may I borrow my cousin?" Fred said. A wide smile spread across my face. I smiled at the Diggles and squeezed Miles' hand before Fred led me to a less crowded corner.

"So… I may or may not have heard from a grapevine called Weasleys that your dad wants you to try to see the silver lining of the situation." Fred said casually. I could tell he was excited about this conversation. I think one of the reasons I love being with Fred is that he's very engaging, it feels like he has a purpose to talk to you even if that purpose is simply telling you a crude joke.

"So your sister told you." I remarked. Not that it was totally implausible that in a family like ours (large, chatty, and fiercely caring) that news of a worry my dad had for me would get around by him saying it to this brother and that brother to his kid who told this cousin who told a Longbottom who told another cousin who told Fred. But I had sent Roxy an owl about this conversation yesterday so this made me more sense.

"I'm just saying he's not wrong. I know you, you aren't a scared little girl, Rose. You are in Gryffindor for Merlin's sake." Fred emphasized. I shrugged, feeling a little bit psychoanalyzed and a little bit confused as to what he wanted. "You can have a good time now. WIthout having to suffocate yourself with what if consequences!" He continued. I snorted.

"Do I love having fun with you? Sure. Do I feel like I sometimes miss out? Yeah. But I can't just fly off into the sunset and do whatever the hell I want. Not being Head Girl means for all that worrying _I missed something._ " I pleaded with him, I wanted Fred to understand.

"You just said you feel like you've missed out. Okay. But you aren't missing out on anything but getting to be yourself, Ro. Just think about it. And also don't sad drink. It's not a good look." Fred started off serious but lent into teasing me.

"The hangover after was even worse." I assured him. We talked a little more- him telling me to experiment with things I liked, me telling him that Ancient Runes could have perfectly attractive qualities to some people that may be considered fun at times.

"Alright, I've taken up way too much of your time. The rest of them will want to see you off, the Potters just got here so that means you're probably leaving soon." Fred said. When Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny arrived with their little troop it usually meant that things were just about to start. They were always running late and still managing to arrive on time. This gave Albus so much anxiety about the train that he put his foot down two years ago and stays with the Malfoy's the night before leaving for Hogwarts. "But I may or may not have a little gift for you… open it in private.. When you decide I'm right and you do wanna have a little fun."

I didn't have much time to contemplate Fred's mystery package before I was hugging the throngs of my family, watching my dad try not to cry at his little girl leaving for her seventh year at Hogwarts and boarding the train. I settled into a compartment with Roxy and Louis. Lucy and McKinley Finnigan popped in but found another compartment, they preferred the quiet. We're joined by Hugo and Lorcan and eventually Albus and Satan himself.

As we felt the train lurch into motion and lost sight of our families, the excited, optimistic energy froze in the compartment as Malfoy sneered at me.

"So Weasley, are you happy to change things up now? After a summer of smelling like an errand boy you can now smell like you're right up a teacher's arse again. A home away from home for you, isn't it Fire Exit?" Scorpius was getting desperate after seven years of trying to find things are ugly and red to call me. I was about to tell him just that and give him several examples of superior, more creative insulting nicknames one may call him when I reeled myself in.

"I am looking forward to seventh year." And never having to see your revolting (read: gorgeous) face again. The faces around the compartment were terribly confused, it was quite comical. Nothing was quite as funny as the look of unraveling on Malfoy's face at my deadpan response. I would have liked to tell him exactly where he could put those feet he was trying to use to backpedal that one.


	3. Inconvenient Letters

By the time we reached the Hogsmeade train station, I was feeling quite nervous. It was my last year at Hogwarts and it was off to a bad start. To begin with, Malfoy had gotten Head Boy and when sauntered out of the compartment to go meet with whoever the bloody Head Girl was with about as much subtly and consideration as an elephant would. When Malfoy did not come back from said meeting, we all assumed it was because he had found some slag. I was grateful considering my will to not let him get under my skin was waning as he pestered and prodded me. Soon after Malfoy had gone though, Miles came in. And with him, my guilt. Apparently I didn't hide it that well because both Albus and Roxy gave me looks that I tried to ignore. That was a line of questioning I did not need.

When we were close to arriving, Roxy pulled me out of the compartment to find an empty one to change in, away from the boys. As I left the compartment, I took time to gather my things. Roxy tapped her foot impatiently, knowing that I was delaying.

"Okay, you have to break up with him." Roxy stated bluntly before I even had shut the door completely. I shot her a harsh glance and double checked to make sure no one was right outside who could hear that comment. The Hogwarts rumor mill was always hungry.

"And why on earth would I do that?" I asked her, setting my things out, patting down any wrinkles in my uniform so I wouldn't have to meet Roxy's glare.

"Rose. I am not stupid! I'm your best friend, I know you. And for that matter, you don't exactly have to be an experience Legilimens to see that you look like someone dumped cold water over you everytime that Diggle enters the room." She was right. My face hid nothing. I felt a flicker of panic over whether Miles could tell this change. Then I realized that Miles wasn't usually that observant when it came to things like this.

"Look, you were away for a whole summer. You're shit at writing letters so I know it was probably hard to keep in touch. It's totally normal to lose feelings for someone. You don't know, he might feel the same way. At the very least, you _have_ to talk to him. I'm not his biggest fan but if he makes you happy, like honestly happy, then you have to try to work it out." Roxy lectured. I loved her but sometimes she was so condescending when it came to relationships. I had only dated two people and Miles was the one that actually counted. Miles and I had been dating since the end of fifth year. He worked up the nerve to ask me on the very last day of the year. That summer he spent a lot of very supervised time at my house. I was fifteen and giddy. Throughout sixth year, we came out of the honeymoon stage. And we saw each other almost constantly. But we loved each other. I could see a life with him. It'd be nice and it'd be quiet. As a sixteen year old with a huge loud family, that seemed like the best thing. After this summer, I was not sure that's what I wanted. There were a lot of things I realized I did want though.

"Rox… I don't think I can fall out of love with him. I don't know if I was _in_ love with him." I started to cry. Roxy's demeanor changed in a flash. She let me cry for a little, petting my hair, telling me that it was okay. I was glad she didn't demand more of an explanation or a solution right away as Weasley's tended to do.

"I'm okay, thanks… for that. We should get changed. They'll wonder what took us so long." I pulled away and wiped at my tears. Roxy looked at me with sympathy but then her face changed to one of mischief, an expression her and her brother shared often. "Oh, god. What?' I said with a little trepidation. She sat back and put her legs up, attempting to look casual.

"Well we don't have to go back… have you opened Fred's gift yet?" She asked with a smile that couldn't mean anything good. My brows furrowed as I turned around slowly to pick it up. She nodded as she pulled the curtains close. Roxanne and Fred Weasley were nothing but trouble in the best of ways.

I opened the small white package that said "For Rose, use as needed" in Fred's messy scrawl. I poured the contents onto the seat between Rox and I. Oh my god. Fred had given me five joints, and a tiny bottle of eye drops. Jesus christ. Albus would have had a bloody conniption if I had opened this in front of him. He was not too happy when I told him part of the reason I was so fucked up that night was because I had smoked with Fred.

"I'm just saying we could have one now…" Roxy said in a sing-song innocent voice that did not match what she was suggesting.

"Roxanne Weasley! We cannot be _high_ at the Sorting Feast! Are you insane!?" I squealed.

"Roooosieee, come on. No one is going to be paying attention! You know how it is. Everything is insane! Besides, no one in our family is being sorted this year so people won't be looking for our reactions! It's not going to be like how it was the other night, I swear. Fred gave you less strong ones anyways. Plus you won't be drinking!" Roxy pleaded.

"Listen, if you want to, be my guest. One of us has to keep the other under control." I insisted. Roxy rolled her eyes.

"Rose, I've literally been high before without you knowing. Trust me, I'll make sure nothing bad happens. Not even Albus will know." She was starting to convince me. I did want the caged tight feeling in my chest to go away. Besides soon I was going to find out who beat me for Head Girl. Which meant I was not Head Girl. Which means I don't exactly have to prove anything to anyone…

"Especially Albus." I emphasized. "Wait, that means you will?" Roxy looked shocked. "Close your mouth, Rox. It might get stuck that way." I teased.

I grabbed one of them. I looked at it. I blushed when I realized I had no idea what side was what. Roxy giggled and lit it after she opened the window. She took a long inhale of it, passed it to me and then breathed out. She didn't cough at all. I was slightly offended that she obviously had done this more than a few times without even telling me. She passed it to me.

I flooded with nerves. My mind running through a bunch of what if's. And then I thought of Malfoy's pompous face as he announced to us earlier that he had to go to the Head's meeting. I put it to my lips and sucked with more fervor than I should. I immediately started coughing out the window. Roxy laughed at my discomfort I shot her a look and took another "hit" (I'd learned the term from Fred last week) for revenge. I still coughed but not as much.

Roxy and I changed and giggled about mostly nothing until the train stopped. I felt my stomach drop. I was having fun with just Roxy. I felt free and like I wanted to dance. But what if people realize!? Oh my god, what if someone tells my parents? I would actually die. I can only imagine that Howler. You probably wouldn't be able to understand what was being said as both my parents would be yelling with such zeal, running over each other in efforts to deliver how angry they are.

Roxy squeezed my arm and told me it was going to be okay. I felt like screaming at her. She showed me how to put the eye drops in, explaining that it'll take the redness away so no one knows. Meanwhile, I didn't know that my eyes were supposed to get red from this!

I avoided Hagrid as he rounded up the first year's. It'd be just my luck for _Hagrid_ to be the first one to realize I was high. Roxy and I found an empty carriage and moments later, my throat tightened up as Miles jogged up to the one we were sitting in. Roxy pinched my arm and told me sternly that it'd be fine.

"Hey, sweetheart. Where did you two get off to?" Miles asked. He kissed my forehead as he sat down next to me. Oh Merlin, what if he could smell it?

"Just girl talk." I told him. I must have said it oddly because he just nodded. I heard a shout and some laughter as Lorcan and Hugo ran up to the carriage; Lorcan a little out of breath and Hugo helping him up into the carriage. I smiled as I watched them. Something about the sight just made me feel bubbly. Or maybe it was a combination of the sight and my intoxicated state.

Lucy and Francis joined us as well and then the thestral began its jaunt. I sighed when I realized that Albus and Scorpius had had to find another one since this one was full. The later I could put off interacting with the two of them, the better.

I settled next to Roxy and greeted some of the other girls' in Gryffindor seventh year. I kept looking over my shoulder at the Slytherin table. Albus noticed the third time and I whipped around and blushed. I was sure he knew something was up. When the sorting started I was able to sit back and just think. Everyone was looking there and no one would be paying attention to me.

Roxy shook me out of my reverie and she wore a confused expression. Oh god. Did I say something out loud on accident?

"Did you know that Uncle Harry's cousin had a daughter coming to Hogwarts?" Roxy whispered. I looked over at Lily who was looking down at her lap. Obviously she had known something. I peaked over at Albus. He did not seem confused either.

"What's her name?" I whispered to Roxy. She told me it was Marta Dursley. Marta was shorter than most of her peers. She had a baby face and had not appeared to lose her baby weight. She was kind of adorable in that way. Her big eyes looked absolutely terrified as she walked up to the stool, glancing everywhere at once. I wondered if she knew about the big family she had here. I wondered if Uncle Harry's cousin even considered how large the Weasley bunch are. Although I guess he would have seen at Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny's wedding. Apparently they had made up and became friendly the year before they got married. And now his daughter was a witch! How strange.

"Gryffindor!" The sorting hat announced, although it did sound a little uncertain. We all clapped. Lily was nice enough to wave her over. She looked at Lily like a lifeboat.

"Is it me or do they get younger every year?" Olivia Midgen, one of our dorm mates, wondered aloud. "And more afraid. For goodness sake's. None of them look very lion-esque."

"Oh, come off it Rox. Like you weren't quaking in your little boots during your sorting." Kennedy Port, another girl in our dorm, snickered. Roxy stuck her tongue out at her. We had to contain our giggles at that. I was starting to feel less nervous about everything and just enjoy the feeling.

That was until the feast had ended, our stomachs were too full, and we were standing up to depart to our houses. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, it was a house elf with a note from McGonagall. I immediately blanched. My stomach and throat were on fire with nerves. She's going to know, _she probably already knows._ I opened the letter with trepidation.

 _Miss Weasley,_

 _Please come to my office first thing in the morning. I have important matters to discuss with you immediately._

 _Headmistress McGonagall_

I turned to Roxy with big eyes. She bit her lip with a furrowed brow. I grabbed her hand and rushed out of the Great Hall. I found an alcove that would shield us from others' eyes.

"She knows. The Headmistress knows. Oh Merlin! I'm going to die!" I panicked. "Or be expelled. Oh I hope it's the death option." I slapped my hand to my head. Was there anything worse than being expelled? Why didn't I think of this before? I was spiraling. Roxy grabbed my face and forced me to look at her.

"Mate, you're being paranoid. It's probably just the weed. That happens sometimes." She informed me. Oh my god. I'm going to kill her then Fred.

"I thought it was supposed to relax me!" I hissed. She rolled her eyes.

Once I had calmed down a bit, we slumped up to the dorm. Kennedy asked where we got off to but I immediately laid down and shut my eyes. Today was already exhausting. I was not sure if I was ready for tomorrow.

I opened my eyes reluctantly. I sighed heavily and began to get ready for the day. I was the first one up other than Olivia who was already dressed and in the process of straightening her strawberry blonde hair. I looked at my own unruly mess of brownish red. No matter how many spells I tried to enchant it with, my hair would go from pretty much straight to frizzy curls the second I stepped outside. Most days I did not bother with it and stuck it up into a messy bun.

The note from McGonagall sat on my bedside table, mocking me. I tried a little harder to look presentable. If I was going to be expelled for being a druggie, I was determined not to look like one.

"Elphinstone." I muttered to the gargoyle guarding the staircase to the Headmistress' office. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as I climbed each step to my fate. I knew logically it was extremely unlikely she could know about the joints but I felt vulnerable either way. Whatever it could be I was sure it would not be anything good.

I first saw McGonagall. She didn't seem to be in a bad mood. This put me in slightly at ease. The closer I came, I realized that someone occupied the left chair.

 _Scorpius fucking Malfoy._ This was the last thing I needed! He glared at me as he watched me sit down. He certainly did not seem enthused about whatever this meeting was concerning. I was not sure whether that made me feel better or worse.

"Miss Weasley, thank you for coming. I assure you I will keep this short as I'm sure you'd both like to get some breakfast before your first classes." McGonagall chimed. As she continued, I looked at Malfoy in my periphery. His jaw was clenched, clearly he knew more than I did because sure, it was early but since when did that mean Malfoy was acting like an angry fool? Surely he knew something I did not. "As you know Scorpius is head boy," my stomach clenched and Malfoy's expression flickered to amusement when he saw my face, "and you may have noticed a lack of a head girl last night." Oh Merlin, I had not even thought about that last night. How in the world did I not think about it? I felt like yelling at myself. McGonagall continued. "Unfortunately, part of your letter for this year did not get to you. I apologize, Miss Weasley. I am sure that you will do the position proud so here you are." She handed me the glimmering Head Girl badge. "Your things are being moved into the Head's dormitory as we speak- Miss Weasley, do sit down."

I hadn't even realized I had jumped out of my chair, knocking over a small figurine on McGonagall's desk to the floor. I heard Malfoy snicker at my lack of grace but all I could be bothered to think was _OH MY GOD OH MY GOD_. _Suck it Malfoy. It's still a tie you snake! That must have been why he was avoiding me on the train!_ If I hadn't been so ebullient, I would never have had the gall to reach over and hug Headmistress Minerva Bloody McGonagall. Two seconds later, I slowly pulled away as red as a tomato over my _entire_ body. Malfoy was coughing to disguise his laughter.

"I am so sorry Professor. I don't know what came over me. I am, I am honored and excited for the opportunity." I said, hating how meak I sounded. Albus Dumbledore smiled with glee above her. She however looked like she'd been quite shaken. _Bloody hell, I've never been more embarrassed._

"That's quite alright. I, um, understand. Just please do have a bit more decorum going forward." She asserted. "Mr. Malfoy, you two need to arrange to meet to set up prefect schedules as that could not be done on the train officially without both head girl and boy present. It should not be that hard considering you two will be living alongside one another. As such, I would like to add one more thing before I dismiss you. I know you two have a history of not getting along. I hope that you will rise to your titles and put old prejudices aside. I will not hesitate to rescind your privileged positions and hand the responsibility over to Mr. MacMillan and Ms. Byer if I hear of anything unprofessional. Mr. Malfoy, if you could wait outside. I must speak with Ms. Weasley for just a moment then you can show her where the head's dormitory is and what the password is."

I wasn't too worried as Malfoy left. I figured whatever she had to talk to me about couldn't be that bad if I was Head Girl. The Headmistress stood and retrieved something from the corner of the room. I saw that it was a pale blue envelope.

"Miss Weasley, this was sent to you." McGonagall handed me the envelope. I didn't look at it too intently before she continued, "It was dropped off at the Muggle-Wizard Mail Exchange. Your name or the sender's name was not on the approved list but they let it through as they recognized your name. The ministry sent it here but wished that I ask you what this is about. They are worried about the Secrecy Laws, of course. I told them I was sure you would have never crossed that line. Please assure me that I did not lie."

The Muggle-Wizard Mail Exchange is a small department in London that operates under the Ministry. It appears as a rundown muggle post office. It is the address wizards and witches give to muggles that need to contact them if they are in the magic population. The mail will only go through if you are approved to be on a list and you give them the name, all done in the name of Secrecy. Molly, quite a radical but intelligent lawyer, insisted that this was an absurd length to go to and a violation of privacy.

In the past two minutes, I had gone from feeling a little green from nerves to cherry red from embarrassment. Now I was whiter than snow. I felt like all the warm blood had left my body, like someone had sunk me in ice.

I did not need to read the name to know what it would be. I read it three times over just to be sure but every time it made me feel further and further away from this office, closer to a comfortable purple couch and a muggle TV. My heart pumped in my ears much in the same way it did on the way here. As I left McGonagall's office, I was still reading and rereading the name. It did not change.

 **Rose Weasley**

 **934 Waif Street N**

 **London, UK**

 **Lucas Wyatt**

 **133 Bevel Lane**

 **Stevenage, UK**

 **AN OOOOOOO who is this muggle boy** Hello! Hope you enjoyed this update... I know there wasn't a whole lot of Scorpius/Rose action but I feel like it sets some stuff up that is vital to the story/builds a bit of tension. (PS did you catch the references in this chapter? Let me know in a review if you did!)


	4. Chrysocolla

"Weasley? Uh, hello?" I heard from behind me. My head was so filled with bubbles my mind hadn't registered him waiting, leaning against the wall. I'd walked right by the attractive blonde, my mind filled with someone's else's face. I turned towards him as he caught up with me. "Jesus, did you finally lose the last of your brain cells?" He continued, clearly annoyed. Scorpius Malfoy was not used to being dismissed. Malfoy's cutting comment did not pull me out of my reverie.

"Why are you walking with me?" I asked him. Shouldn't he have left to go to breakfast?

"Do you need to go to Mungo's? We're going to the heads dorm! But it's fine by me if you want to attempt to find it yourself. I'm sure your family would move on quickly once your lack of sense had you gone missing forever." He spit out.

"Oh, yeah. Okay. Let's go then." I said. I felt like my voice was softer than usual. I noticed that Scorpius was looking at me like a puzzle. Maybe he thought I was planning something against him. The narcissist. This had nothing to do with him. I looked down at the envelope in my hands, running my thumb over the handwriting. And suddenly it was taken from my grasp. I stared at Malfoy, unable to move for a second as he smirked at me. He started to look down to read it and I lunged for it. He sidestepped and held it out of my way. The movement had sent me down to the floor. I got up as quick as I could but it was too late.

"Hmm, Weasley, exactly who is Lucas Wyatt? Should I go ask Diggle why you've had love eyes since walking out of there?" Scorpius said in a sing songy voice, keeping the envelope out of my hands as I kept trying to grab it. He switched it from hand to hand, spinning around, side stepping me with grace.

"I did not have love eyes! I was just excited about being head girl!" I exclaimed. The excuse sounded weak even to my ears.

"Oh please, a second ago you had completely forgotten about being head girl." Malfoy dismissed. "Really though… What has got your grammy panties in a twist?" He continued with a crude look in his eyes. Being the defensive impulsive idiot that I am, I disputed.

"Nothing! I do not wear grammy panties you rude arse." I walked right into his trap. A smirk crept across his face and he stepped towards me.

"No? What exactly are you wearing? Or is it nothing? Is that your little secret? A slag trapped in a virgin's body?" Scorpius' words were mean and crude yet his tone was soft and seductive. I found myself glued to the spot. "Or was Lucas able to push you to the side you pretend to be so ignorant of, even when your eyes betray that? Was he able to see all the desperate wanting in your eyes, Weasley?" Scorpius' gray eyes bored into my own. I felt a pull at my stomach. And then something else rose up in my stomach. Guilt.

Here I was being turned on by one (horrible) man while supposedly loving a boy in the Great Hall waiting for me and wondering of the soft touches of another. It felt like Scorpius could read my mind. His eyes squinted at me and flashed me a wicked smile before licking his lips. I could not help but shiver.

Scorpius stepped back with a laugh. In that moment, I swear if the bricks had come alive and pulled me into them, entrapping me forever, I would not have minded. I was redder than my Gryffindor sweater. Scorpius handed me back my letter, knowing he'd won this round. My face squished up as I tried to convince myself not to kick him down the stairs as he led me to the dormitory.

Scorpius left me to brew in my embarrassed silence while a self-satisfied grin adorned his face the entire walk up to the seventh floor. We stopped at a tapestry of a lively woman complimenting a bored looking man as they stood by a fire.

"Jenemis, we have visitors." The man in the painting instructed her. His domineering, dismissive tone made me want to take a muggle machete out and scrape through the tapestry.

"Hovier, Jenemis. This is Rose, the other Head Student. I am taking her to her room to get settled but we can decide on a password now." Scorpius said matter-of-factly. I stared at him.

"Head Girl? She does not look like much and I will not have you dishonor your title by lying." The man apparently called Hovier dismissed.

"Excuse me? I am Head Girl and I can ask the Headmistress to have you replaced in

matter of seconds you absolute bast-" Scorpius covered my mouth with his hand.

"She is Head Girl. I would not bother to sneak her type in." Scorpius informed Hovier. I bit his hand hard at this insinuation.

"Fine, if you insist." Hovier sighed, as if he was simultaneously outright offended and completely unbothered. "The password, Boy?" He directed this question exclusively to Scorpius. I was two seconds away from ripping down the tapestry and casting a spell to shred it.

"Chrysocolla." Scorpius responded without a second thought. At that, the tapestry pulled itself to the side as a door materialized. Scorpius walked through. It dawned on me then that we would actually be _living_ together. Part of me was disgusted. I won't discuss the other part.

"You're on the right Weasel." Scorpius dismissed as he went to grab something from his room on the left. The common room had two desks, bookshelves accompanying each one on the left wall. In the center of the room was a large plush silver and gold carpet. The couch was a luscious red and the two green armchairs threw it all off for me. I imagine Scorpius felt similarly about the couch. The fireplace was unlit at the moment was my mind was filled with pleasant images of nights reading by the fire, of being silly with Roxy til late hours by it. My smile was torn off my face by Malfoy's words.

"You're going to miss breakfast if you keep staring at that fireplace. Be my guest to jump in anytime of course." Scorpius said pleasantly as he was half out the door. I glared at him for a second before turning around.

"I need to check my room. Don't know what you may have done in my absence. But thank you for the concern about my hunger." I yelled over my shoulder. I heard the door close as he snorted.

The room was not huge but it was larger than my one at home and the bed was larger and seemingly more comfier than the ones in the Gryffindor dorms. I hid my envelope in my pillowcase- I did not want to read it now. I needed to be on my game now. I was Head Girl, it was the first day of classes. I would make an awesome first impression. I sighed as my stomach growled, knowing I'd have to forego breakfast so I could make it to Defense ten minutes early.

By the time I'd finished charms and divination for the day, I was absolutely starving. I ran down the divination stairs as soon as I was let out, nearly knocking over some second years. Divination was a stupid class to be taking in my seventh year. But Professor Trelawney said she was inspired by me and the woman was so old and senile that I couldn't bear to upset her. Plus it was the one class that Scorpius did not share with me.

I was in the middle of shoving a chicken leg in my mouth when I felt hands slip over my eyes.

"Guess who?" Miles questioned in a happy voice. Guilt and I were best friends at this point, I hardly felt her stabs to my stomach as I remembered just how bloody pleasant my boyfriend was.

"Hi, Miles." I said as best as I could with a face full of food. He smiled widely at me and plopped down. He looked like he was about to ask me something as Roxy exploded onto the seat next to me. Her lips were green and her eyebrows were purple. I nearly choked on my food in laughter.

"Your brother is a right git! All because I scored on him during the last game! I don't care that he's fifteen I am going to maim him so badly no girl will ever-"

"Roxy! No! Merlin, don't say something like that." I was officially grossed out by whatever she was about to mention.

"Just bloody fix my face." Roxy huffed. Even though Roxy was irate with Hugo, most of my family had a code. No matter the prank, don't tattle tale. Roxy was one of the ones who took this to an extreme which usually meant she'd come to me for help rather than going to the Hospital Wing.

Once Roxy was fixed and a little more fed, she was just as fun as usual. Miles laughed along with us.

"Rose! Congrats!" I heard from behind me. Albus was coming to hug me. Shit. I had not told either Miles nor Roxy. The latter was going to kill me.

"Thanks, Albie. Um, so it slipped my mind but um I'm head girl." I admitted, turning to Roxy and Miles as they seem awfully confused. I pulled the badge out of my pocket. I had not put it on yet. I didn't feel like I had earned it yet. Roxy swatted my arm and pretended to faint.

"Rosie! I'm so happy for you!" Miles exclaimed. The smile did not quite meet his eyes though. I took his hand under the table and squeezed it.

"Oh my god, I knew it. It was just too good to be true. Rose Weasley, taking the stick out her ass. Ah, it was a good twenty four hours." Roxy teased but I could see that she was happy for me.

"And we'll get to hang out more, Rosie!" Albus commented. I looked at him quizzically. "It's Scor's dorm too so we'll probably both be there." He clarified. I groaned.

"Albus, you have bad timing." Roxy told him.

"Al, I am happy to see you more don't get me wrong. But the idea of spending time in that place intentionally with Scorpius, ugh. I'd rather have my wand arm broken." I commented. Albus' face fell but I could see it was what he expected.

"Yeah, I know. I just- maybe you could… We'll talk later but congrats, Ro." Albus hugged me again and walked back over to where Malfoy was sitting. I wasn't sure if it was preceded by _how's_ or _who's_ but I knew he mouthed one of those and _Lucas._ I glared at him and squeezed Miles' hand under the table as I turned back to my food.

Seventh year, first day… had been eventful. The year was already exhausting. And she hadn't even started on the already mounting homework awaiting her in her backpack.

 **AN sorry about this being short! Holidays and such blah blah blah**

 **I really hope you enjoyed it, review so I know if you did! Thank you, it means the world to have you reading my stories.**


	5. Infection, Affection

_We were supposed to be studying muggle politics. Immersing ourselves in the day to day working of their ministry. Instead I found herself speaking to a boy who looked around my age. Well, speaking might have been misleading verbiage. We were flirting. I couldn't remember ever giggling like this. I probably would have made fun of a girl who was doing the same- in fact, I probably had, probably one of the girls fawning over bloody Malfoy._

 _This boy was named Lucas and he was a muggle and his father had gotten him the internship with the Minister's office. His father was apparently a very important person. Lucas did a funny impression of his father's haughtiness._

" _So you don't want to go into politics then?" I asked, leaning even closer to look into his eyes, eyes that were warm and a magnificent shade of green. I studied his handsome features, committing the curve of his nose and the length of his eyelashes. He laughed easily. In a muggle romantic comedy, I'm sure that his laugh would have been perfect but I couldn't help but note that it was a little breathy, even nasally. If he wasn't so damn charming, it might have been annoying._

" _No, it will kill my pop but it's just never been in the cards for me- wait, you have an eyelash." Lucas paused and leaned in close. I blushed furiously. My heart was thumping in my ears. Usually only Malfoy gets this reaction for me, much aided by anger. But this time it was all sweetness and butterflies. Lucas lightly brushed his thumb along my cheek and then held it in front of me, his thumb pad adorned by my eyelash. "Make a wish, sunshine." I closed her eyes and blew lightly. SIhe didn't wish for anything- my mind too occupied with the nickname he'd given me. When I opened my eyes, I felt a little dazed but he continued on with the discussion of his career plans._

" _What about you, Rose? What's your big dream?" He asked with a sincerity that made my stomach swoop. I did have one. Of course. But it wasn't like I could explain the concept of charms to a muggle. Sensing my reluctance, he urged me, "Oh I promise I won't laugh. Besides, I know I've only known you a short while but.. I'm positive you could do whatever you set your mind to. You, you are brilliant, Rose Weasley."_

"Miss Weasley!" I was snapped out of my reverie. I was left with a cold feeling, an empty feeling, a feeling of what-if. "Miss Weasley, do I need to repeat the question?" Professor Scola asked me. I looked nervously down at my textbook. I hadn't been paying attention for the entirety of Ancient Runes.

"Er, I'm sorry, Professor." I blushed furiously. Not from butterflies like the daydream. From embarrassment, made all that much worse by Malfoy attempting to cover his laughter as a cough.

"What was Yuri Bilshen's primary contribution to the study of Ancient Runes?" Professor Scola asked without amusement or any other seemingly human emotion. I'd always wondered why she taught. She did not seem to like students very much. And that's coming from me! I get along with every teacher! I answered her easily. I had done the assigned reading weeks ago, my fourth reading of it as I had read the whole book once during the summer, another read through the first few chapters on the train to refresh, and twice the assigned sections to prepare for today's class. Much use my preparation was if I was going to be hopelessly distracted during class.

I had been like this for the past week and a half. It did not make for a good start to the semester. But every time I looked down at a textbook my mind transformed the letters to _his_ handwriting, forcing me to think about the envelope awaiting me in my room. Nothing had gone beyond platonic in physical terms- I'm not that terrible. I wouldn't cheat on Miles. _You cheated on him with your heart, you bitch._ I sighed. That voice in my head was getting more insistent. And correct. I was pretty sure I had fallen in love with Lucas. I was pretty sure he at least felt _something_ for me. But we could never be together. And we shouldn't. He had a life that was fun and lighthearted and he had big dreams and a big heart. A witch with a temper and a perfection complex did not fit into that life. Besides, I had Miles. Miles was good! He was patient and he got me flowers like a boyfriend is supposed to. _You hate flowers!_ Okay, that voice was getting seriously annoying.

"Uh, Weasley? Hello?" Malfoy's disparaging voice interrupted my stream of consciousness. We were now in the charms classroom but class did not start for another ten minutes. There was only a few students sprinkled throughout the room so far.

"What Malfoy!?" I snapped, annoyed at him, my thoughts, and if I was being totally honest, at Miles and Lucas for being too good for me.

"I said, you obtuse woman, we should get the word out about the prefect's meeting tomorrow." Malfoy replied. Ugh. What an absolute git. _An absolute git you'd like to bend you over and-_ Oh, fuck off.

"We should do it tonight." I told Malfoy. We then had an argument about whether or not tonight was enough notice and why a day mattered that much. At least I could count on Malfoy to distract me with his extreme talent of burrowing under my skin and making every argument that opposed my own.

"Fine! Let's compromise! We will hold two meeting to give people the option. You run tomorrow's, I will run tonight's." I finally conceded. We were head students after all. We had to live up to some standards of working alongside one another.

"That's horribly inefficient but by all means, create more work for yourself." Malfoy commented before walking over to his desk next to Holly Trace who practically threw herself at him as he sat down. _That's probably exactly what you looked like this summer_. I, Rose Granger Weasley, was officially losing it. At this discomforting thought, I decided that enough was enough. I had spent too much time wondering what that letter contained; out of fear, out of excitement, out of immaturity surely.

I had made that decision Thursday afternoon. But Thursday night when I returned to my dorm, Scorpius and Albus were in the common room along with some other Slytherin guys. They were too loud for me to have this moment, I told myself. Friday morning I couldn't because I woke up a few minutes late and needed to rush through my normal routine. I sat in Herbology almost twenty minutes early, realizing that I was yet again making excuses. Friday night I had promised Roxy and Natalie Chapman (a Ravenclaw girl who Roxy was quite good friends with and by extension I was as well) that I would have a girl's night with them to get a break from the already overbearing NEWT level work. Saturday had been spent doing Heads' work with Malfoy that took an excruciatingly long amount of time due to our difficulty cooperating (rather his ability to compromise). Sunday was spent preparing for the onslaught of this week's classes.

So it was now Monday morning. I lay in bed with my eyes still closed but my hands strumming the envelope that lays on my chest, feeling ten times heavier than it should. I could hear Malfoy rustling around in the common room and my annoyance hiked up for a second as it always does when it comes to Malfoy. I took a couple deep breaths to refocus on the task at hand- or rather the letter on hand.

In that moment, I really had to wonder if the Sorting Hat had gone looney. Gryffindors were brave. I was having to scrape up the bravery to open a letter from a boy I fancy. I heard voices outside in the common room. Before curiosity got the better of me to go figure out what was going on, there was a swift knock on my door.

"Weasel, your boy toy is out here. I'm not your butler, you let him in." Malfoy said from behind my door. I huffed and stuck the envelope under my pillow. After the wave of frustration rolled over me I let out a laugh at my predicament, one without much humor. Right now Lucas' letter lay behind me, Malfoy was right outside my door, and Miles, my boyfriend, the only one who should matter, was waiting to come inside.

I recovered and opened my door where an ever-so-casual Malfoy was laying on the couch, thumbing through the Prophet. I rolled my eyes at him before meeting Miles at the portrait. My stomach dropped when I saw he had roses for me. Miles was always finding reasons to celebrate little things in our relationship. I had forgotten our one year anniversary- I used the pressure of end of year exams but really I was just lousy at remembering those details.

"Good morning Rosie! I just wanted to pop in and see if you wanted to get breakfast." He offered, I furrowed my brow. We did usually eat together after all. "And I wanted to give you these. You know, it's been a year since you said you loved me back!" He handed the bouquet over to me. I smiled at him.

"Miles, you're so great!" I hugged him with one arm, my other being occupied. He returned the affection with enthusiasm. It was the first time since coming back that I felt a little flutter in my stomach. And I felt a little better knowing that. Maybe I still had a chance of that nice little life with the white picket fence and watching my little boys on kid broomsticks as Miles and I chuckled together. With that thought in mind, I pulled his face towards mine and kissed him with purpose. His lips moved against mine hesitantly, a little more than usual. I realized why when Malfoy let out a low wolf whistle. I had forgotten we had a bloody audience. I detached myself from Miles' lips and had my wand at my Malfoy quicker than you can say _Blushing Weasley._ Unfortunately, Malfoy had a quick reaction time and was up in a second with his wand pointing at me.

"Really, Weasley, you have a bedroom. I don't need to see the two of you lip fucking." Malfoy said.

"You absolute snake! I am so tired of your vulgarity!" I exclaimed, whipping around to face the Slytherin. Behind my anger, I heard Miles sigh.

"I mean, can't you all just do whatever it is you two do in your bedroom? So you don't infect our _shared_ living space!" Malfoy shot back.

"Bloody hell, as if you don't have a new slag in here every weekend. We're not the ones infecting anything! You ought to get checked." My reply was met with a snort.

"Jealous, are we?" Malfoy said. I pretended to gag in response. "Weasley, tut tut. That's not very ladylike." _Hex him. Hex him right in his pretty face._ But instead of pulling out my wand, my body reacted before my brain and slapped him. And then I felt Miles' arms pull me back. All I could focus on was the swing of Malfoy's face to the side and his eyes that seemed like rocks but on fire. He was pissed and I couldn't help the satisfaction rising in me. It wasn't all that often that I was able to knock Malfoy of his pedestal of calm cockiness. I wanted to revel in it but Malfoy was all too talented at pulling back his emotions. We were the opposite in every way.

"What's goin' on in here?" A familiar voice said, climbing through the open portrait hole. I turned to see Albus. And in the next moment, I felt myself careening forward to the floor. Malfoy had cast the Leg Locker curse on me! I pulled my wand from my back pocket and shot a Sponge Knees curse at him which he blocked as I performed the counterspell to the leg locking curse.

Ten minutes and several well-aimed and well-blocked curses later, Albus was in quite a mood as he pulled Malfoy out of the common room. Apparently Miles had stood there "uselessly" while Albus had performed expelliarmus on the two of us. Once they were gone, Miles was looking towards something on the floor.

"Rose, I really wish you wouldn't do this anymore." He said quietly. My anger was still sizzling inside me so I fought to keep it down even though I thought he was being absurd.

" _I_ am not doing anything, it's him! He goads me on purpose! I can't help it. He just, he is just the worst person I think I've ever come across!" I really didn't have any control over my temper. I blame my genes.

"Rose, you are the smartest person I know. He shouldn't be able to provoke you that easily." Miles' voice was gentle as usual but there was a certain edge to it that I rarely heard. "You know why everyone thinks you guys are at each other's throats so much?" He waited for me response but I was shocked by the edge in his voice that seemed to be taking over. "Everyone thinks you guys are screwing behind my back. Richard Macmillan's words- not mine! Rose, do you know how much that hurts me? You pay more attention to him, the person you claim to hate, than me, the person you _claim_ to love." His eyes bored down in to mine, a question clear in his own.

My words stuck in my throat. _Tell him you love him! Lie if you have to!_ I screamed internally. _Do you love him? Do you love him? Can you love him?_

"Rose, I'm going to go to breakfast." Miles said flatly, all the edge drained from his voice. I felt my heart break. Surely if my heart could break for him that meant I loved him?

"Wait, I can still come with you-" I stumbled after him, feeling like everything had been spun on its axis twelve times and somehow winded up upside down.

"No. I'm sorry. I'd like to eat separately. I need time to think." Miles whispered. He leaned down to kiss my forehead. Tears leapt from my eyes as the portrait swung shut again. I don't know how long I stared at it. But at some point my watch vibrated. I had cast a spell on it to vibrate when I needed to leave where ever I was to make it to my classes in time. And in time meant early. I tried to fit all my feelings into a little wrapped box in my brain while I rushed around to get ready. All my efforts were for not when my eyes settled on the ivory rectangle, nearly indented by my fingerprints. In a burst of sudden determination, I ripped it open and pulled the unevenly folded parchment from the envelope. As I read, my mouth trembled between a frown and a smile.

 _Dear Rose,_

 _Was that too formal? Sorry. I'm not sure how to do this. I know you said that getting in contact would be difficult and if I really needed to, I could send it here. I hope I didn't worry you into thinking it was an emergency. But I know you so you probably were already worried. (imagine me winkin' here)_

 _I miss you. I miss the way you talk about things that fill you with passion and I miss how your brows quirk together when you are confused. I miss that time we skipped lunch and snuck into that playground. I miss the time I made that rude remark to Mr. Hughs and you were the only one who caught it. And you couldn't keep your laugh in. I hope you remember the fun we had this summer as fondly as I do. I think about these memories more often than my pride may let me admit._

 _Rose, I wish I had had the balls to tell you this in person. Don't bother to respond if you don't feel the same way. It'll be easier that way- I don't mean to sound rude. It'd just be easier for both of us. But if you also feel like we had something, if you also feel like being with me makes it easier to live in our parents' shadows (and perhaps even escape them because you make me feel like sunshine) (sorry that was cheesy), if you also feel like you want to press your lips to mine and not disconnect those lips until we run out of air… Just let me know please._

 _I don't want to make you feel rushed but I do need to know soon. I know I told you I wouldn't give into my dad pressuring me about Holly. But my resolve is waning. I don't feel like there is anyone right for me if you aren't and Holly and I could have a good life together. Maybe the adult me would be happier with her. God dammit, sorry I know this was supposed to be my love letter to you but Rose, I'm scared. I don't know who I am and being with you makes me just… be. If I sound crazy to you, trust me- I've told myself this a million times._

 _Despite anything else, I think you should know that you are beautiful. I want you. In so many ways._

 _Hope to hear from you soon,_

 _Luke_

 ** _AN_ thanks for reading! please review, it really helps me when writing for like inspiration and to see what you liked which helps me make decisions about what to write!**


	6. Author's Note

**Hello there! I come to you with sorta bad news... I have lost direction in this story. I feel terrible because I really love this story but I also have some regrets about where I've taken it. So I'm putting it on hiatus until I get a stroke of inspiration! But maybe that inspiration can come in the form of you! Let me know where you want this story to go, what you like, what you don't, etc!**

 **On another note I am starting another two stories. One Scorose one that is up right now (and a little smutty) and I'm going to be posting a non scorose story that I'm very excited about soon!**


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